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The Best of my Worst Hotel Horrors

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing some hotel horror stories (as well as a few silver linings). As an adorably obsessed traveller, I’ve stayed in just about every form of accommodation, from pup tent to penthouse; and it has been my experience that the bed in a simple pensione can be as comfortable […]

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Another Infomercial! Yay!

Some stories choke me up every time I read them. I’m so happy for Pretty, the little girl in this story; and I’m glad that “Pretty,” the story, has found a home at Metazen. Stop by and leave a comment. Tweet it, if you have time. I’ll send you lots of virtual love (which is […]

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Oans, zwoa, gsuffa! Wiesn Tips!

Taking a break from my lover’s spat with London, I turn now to the real love of my life—Munich. It’s Oktoberfest in “the biggest village in the world,” so naturally there’s a bit more vomit on the sidewalks; but there are also considerably more Japanese men in Lederhos’n with impressively embarrassing Gamsbart sprouting from their […]

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The Madding Crowd

If I were Muslim, I’d definitely lie to Allah and tell Him I was too poor and frail to go on the hajj. It would be a tricky lie since I’ve been to Egypt, Isreal, the United Arab Emirates and have Starbucks mugs—which, in my defense, I bought in Dubai—from Bahrain, Kuwait and, oops, Saudi […]

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London–A Love/Hate Affair

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with London for, what, twelve years now? It’s high time I buried the hatchet, right? I don’t know. I think London has to make the first move. She should apologize for her animosity towards Americans. She should make amends for her ornery public transport system. London brings out the worst […]

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Venetian Jade and Ligurian Diamonds

Exactly one year ago, I vowed to myself and those around me that I would never ever ever return to the world’s largest, sinking tourist trap—Venice. Like the other Italian tourist meccas, Venice must have been beautiful once. Now, it’s a watery maze of trinket shops, bad restaurants and over-priced hotels. Who can we blame […]

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The Minerals that Drive Us (For Hikers)

The days of cramming twenty granola bars in your backpack and heading for the mountain are over. I think these products are called “PowerBarz” or “ProteinBoost” or “SugarSugarSugar” these days. If you’re heading for that mountain to get in shape, leave the granola candy where it belongs (on the shelf at the supermarket until we […]

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