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A Thanksgiving Message

I began, like quite a lot of you, as the winner of a race, a tiny adventurer headed for that egg in the uteral sky. I plopped out near Frankfurt, Germany (probably not so much like most of you). It didn’t take me long to realize the people around me were spitting a language my […]

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And the Winner is…

The ultimate number one worstest, most awfullest guided tour I’ve ever had…. Gentlemen, the envelope . . . please. This year’s award for Christopher’s worstest awfullest guided tour goes to the I’m-too-sexy-for-these-old-tourists tour of Jerusalem! Polite applause, a few boos, speaker feedback. Jerusalem, ladies and gentlemen, is a city full of holy traffic and holier […]

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The Museum of Competing Tour Guides

Number Two on my “Top Three awfullest Guided Tours” list is the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities, better known as The Egyptian Museum in Cairo—but I like to refer to it as the Museum of Competing Tour Guides. You know the phenomenon: one person starts shouting more loudly to be heard over another person who’s shouting […]

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The Glorious Guided Tour

The concept of the guided tour is simple—tell a throng of tourists the same thing at the same time and make more money. You’ve seen them: the groups of teenagers halfheartedly following a fusty old fart with a red umbrella, a gaggle of Japanese geriatrics huddling around a woman with a microphone . . . […]

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