Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Carnival in Berlin?

Ah, clowns. Aren't they funny?
We were supposed to be in Brazil this week, but things sometimes turn out differently from the way you plan. It's a long story that I'm sure you don't . . . what? You want to hear it? Really? You're going to what? Twist my arm until I tell it? OK, everyone gather around and sit cross-legged in a circle, and I'll tell the embarrassing story.

This clown had condoms hanging
from his head and he wasn't funny.
Once upon a time there lived a travel-obsessed couple: Snafu the Synchronized swimming instructor and Christopher, the adorable Travel blogger. They lived in a palace somewhere in Germany and traveled the world ad nauseam.

One evening Snafu decided to book a trip to Brazil last minute, which pleased Christopher of course to no end . . . until the Friday night before Snaf and Chris were supposed to fly to Brazil on Sunday morning.

"What?" Snaf was on the phone in the living room. "But he lives in Germany."

Adorable Christopher was relaxing in the conservatory until these words spiked through him like one of Dracula's impaling rods (yeah, sorry for that image).

The upside-down umbrella technique is
the best for catching candy.
"Nooooooooo," Christopher screamed inwardly (because it was around ten o'clock in the evening and he didn't want to disturb the neighbors). You see, Americans need a visa for Brazil, and Christopher, who is an American and who's been to Brazil several times, KNOWS this.

Long story short, Brazil wilted into Berlin. On an "up" note, we were treated to Berlin's version of Carnival. Most of the kiddies had supermarket bags to catch the candy. I had only my arms.

Take my advice: if you are an adult, do not hold out your hands like a child wanting candy. The guy on the float will take a handful of hard candy and curve-ball it at your face. Trust me. I spent the whole day yearning for candy, protecting my face, yearning for candy, protecting my face.

Carnival in Berlin was brought forward a week so that the dance groups from Cologne--the real home of Carnival in Germany--could take part in the "excitement," but there was very little excitement to be found.

I must be off (to get a visa for Brazil, obrigado),