You'll Never Walk Alone -- at the Vatican
|They all just want out.|
I do not like crowds. When I'm in one, I can think of six thousand reasons why I don't like them, and each one of those six thousand reasons has a mind of its own. People are not meant to be treated like cattle. Cows, besides the obvious fact that they moo and poop and are perfectly happy to follow the cow butt in front of them on their way back to the barn, do not usually visit the Vatican.
People do. A lot of them. I'm sure the statistics are like seven billion a second. And, with all the sex scandals, I don't think anyone has time to pay attention to maximum capacity limitations. I wonder what the statistics are for people going apeshit and beating the cowpeople in front of them to death with their digital cameras. I'm going to Google this.
"You're doing really well. I'm surprised," said Josef, the Hungarian florist--my perennial traveling companion.
"I thought you'd be having a panic attack by now." Josef was at my side, his chest squashed against the woman's head in front of him.
"I am actually." I winced as a hand brushed against my arm. "I'm making my happy face."
"Ah, so you are. I like your happy face."
|The woman with the riding crop was our guide.|
I will not beat the people in front of me to death with my camera, I will not beat the people in front of me to death with my camera.
I booked the a.m. tour of the Vatican museums: reviews mentioned that the morning tours were less crowded. If this was less crowded, I want to know how many camera bludgeoning incidents happen in the p.m.
Due to some special audience or something (this is not the most informative post, I know), the basilica was closed until 2 p.m., so we stayed on the grounds. Luckily, there's a restaurant in the museums that serves real food as opposed to the other "restaurants" at the Vatican museums that serve mediocre pizza, boring salads, stale bread, fruit salad out of a can, etc. (in other words the standard tourist food because Italy thinks tourists know absolutely nothing about food anyway. I can't say it enough: Italy thinks you're stupid.)
|What is it they say about cleanliness?|
|The entrance to a museum|
|I was not raising my camera to hurt anyone.|
I must be off,
OTHER POSTS ABOUT ITALY
ONE YEAR AGO AT I MUST BE OFF!
Christopher Allen writes fiction, creative non-fiction and of course this here blog. His work has appeared in numerous places both online and in print. Read more about him HERE.