How thankful am I?

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Over the last few months, I've been depressed. No, no, no. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm still as adorable as ever . . . just with a pouty face and a blank stare into the mid-distance. Did it start with my shoulder injury? Earlier? The attack in Nice, which even now assaults my thoughts just when I think I'm over it?

Before I moved to Germany, I was often depressed. I was the "moody guy". If you look back over my posts on this blog, though, you'll see that I've become the "happy guy," the guy who claims that Life is an Adventure, the guy who's up for the adventure. These days I've been down. I'm the guy who really doesn't want to get out of bed. I'm the disappointed guy. When someone disappoints me, I feel injured. I probably need therapy for this. Or maybe I should simply stop letting myself be disappointed by people? Hoping people will stop disappointing me certainly doesn't seem to be working for me.

Or. Maybe I should be more thankful? A friend of mine told me (a few times) to think of three things a day I'm thankful for--and I never have trouble coming up with them. I am grateful for so much in my life. I have a loving partner, and we have never been more in love than we are now--after 15 years. I have parents who love and support me and a sweet family.

I have a job.

And although I haven't been writing much in the last year, I have published a few things here and there. And I've even earned money on a couple of these stories. Ironically, one of the stories I made money on--$200!--is called "How to Do Fine," published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: the Power of Positive. Perfect irony: published in a year when I feel so miserable. Life has a way of laughing with you.

I'm thankful that other editors and writing compadres out there in the ether encourage me as much as they do. Nicolette Wong, Michelle Elvy, Gay Degani, Nancy Stebbins, Dorothee Lang, Jessie Carty, Jany Graef, Paola Fornari Hanna, Tania Hershman, Berit Ellingsen, Marcus Speh, Robert Vaughan and Matt Potter have all made at least one day brighter for me this year.

And of course I'm thankful to all the people who took part in my blog tour for Conversations with S. Teri O'Type. Taking the time to read my book and ask great questions: priceless. Thank you to Kate Brown, Kim Menozzi, Dorothee Lang, Dan Powell, M.J. Nicholls, Martha Williams, Hart Johnson, Gill Hoffs, Michelle Elvy, Jessie Carty and of course Jennifer Noel Bower, the cover illustrator of the book. I'm grateful to Susan Tepper, Julie Innis, Lori Fischer and Jincy Willett for having taken time to give me blurbs for my book. All of these people took the time to help me. Thank you.

I'm especially thankful for the reviews the book has received so far. This one is from a reviewer who did not know me before she wrote the review, blew me away--so a massive thank you to Cindi at On Top Down Under Book Reviews.

I should be more thankful. And then there is the part of me that is still down. For now, I will call this balance: the understanding and acceptance that life demands equal amounts of laughter and staring into the mid-distance wondering what the hell it's all about.

What are you thankful for? What are you down about?

I must be off (to give my family hugs),

Christopher Allen is the author of the absurdist satire Conversations with S. Teri O'Type, available from Amazon HERE.


  1. You are very welcome, Chris. I've had fun telling the world just how adorable you are (and Cary Grant the gay dog, of course... :) I am thankful for being able to discover a new author (for me) who wrote a fantastic, funny book that kept me laughing throughout. The fact that the author is a nice guy is a bonus. I am also thankful for a wonderful husband (and 3 sons) who no longer look at me funny when I laugh out loud while reading. ;)

    Sending hugs from Mobile, Alabama.


    1. Three sons! That's wonderful and truly something to be thankful for. Thank you, Cindi, for telling people about the book. This always makes me smile. :))

    2. Just wrote a long reply? Did it get submitted for checking or was it eaten by the ether? Having a bit of trouble with your site! Cxx

  2. I am most grateful for people like you who post brave blogs like this. I'd say I am right there with you under those covers of despair, but then that would just sound weird and likely get one of us in trouble. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.

  3. It didn't did it?!
    Well, what I was saying, Chris, is thank you for this post! It echoes a lot of what I've been thinking lately about how much we all need to give AND receive thanks. It's often a much greater gift than anything you can wrap up. I'm thankful for so much right now, but in particular my family, my friends and my lovely publishers. And I'm thankful for writers who take the time to write books that are a pleasure to read. Speaking of which, Cary Grant is still winking at me. I think is eye is getting tired...

    1. Hi, Claire! The blogger template is so frustrating. I know. Miraculously, it opened up so that I could reply to your comment. Thank you for trying twice.

      Yes, it's so important to let gratitude do its work in us.

      Hahahahaha. Well, Cary Grant is so versatile. He could probably win a winking contest. :)


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