God on the Rocks — a Visit to The Metéora

One of 6 remaining monasteries at The MetéoraShe introduces herself jokingly as the Jungfrau Maria (the Virgin Mary), and the tour group–the one waiting for our tour group to remove itself from the cooler, inner area of the chapel–laughs boisterously. Her name is Maria, an informative guide who speaks fluent German, and also one who […]

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And the Winner is…

The ultimate number one worstest, most awfullest guided tour I’ve ever had…. Gentlemen, the envelope . . . please. This year’s award for Christopher’s worstest awfullest guided tour goes to the I’m-too-sexy-for-these-old-tourists tour of Jerusalem! Polite applause, a few boos, speaker feedback. Jerusalem, ladies and gentlemen, is a city full of holy traffic and holier […]

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The Museum of Competing Tour Guides

Number Two on my “Top Three awfullest Guided Tours” list is the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities, better known as The Egyptian Museum in Cairo—but I like to refer to it as the Museum of Competing Tour Guides. You know the phenomenon: one person starts shouting more loudly to be heard over another person who’s shouting […]

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The Glorious Guided Tour

The concept of the guided tour is simple—tell a throng of tourists the same thing at the same time and make more money. You’ve seen them: the groups of teenagers halfheartedly following a fusty old fart with a red umbrella, a gaggle of Japanese geriatrics huddling around a woman with a microphone . . . […]

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