The Other Mallorca — Part II

Sóller, Mallorca (Spain)We’ve decided to hike from Deiá to Sóller and back today. It won’t be less than six hours. We park the car in Deiá, a town on a ridge with a few quaint restaurants, a tiny market, the requisite church and very limited parking. We’ve driven through the “town” before, so I know […]

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Eight Days in the Canary Islands — Day 8

Auditorio de Tenerife “Adán Martín” — the Symbol of Tenerife and the Canary IslandsWe’ve survived the high seas. Overnight, we have sailed into the port of Santa Cruz de Tenerife, where our journey began. We have eaten our last meal on the ship and we have seen our last show. We have trod–now we’re getting […]

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Eight Days in the Canary Islands — Day 6

While I’m fairly certain “Fuerteventura” means “Strong Fortune,” I think it may also mean “Big Piles of Rocks.” Since the bus tour on La Palma was so expensive, Alexander the Pool Shark and I have decided to rent a car to explore the island. “There is only one problem,” he says as we’re setting out […]

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Eight Days in the Canary Islands — Day 5

ErrrrrrrrrrrHave I ever told you about my first trip to Gran Canaria (or “Great Island of Dogs”? Probably not. It wasn’t a pleasant trip. It was one of those cheap holidays that turned out to be a bit more expensive than we’d planned. Here’s how it went: “I don’t think we can park here,” I […]

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Eight Days in the Canary Islands — Day 2

Oh, the first night is rough and rocky. I’m surprised they aren’t playing “Don’t Rock the Boat” at breakfast as we sail toward Madeira. I return to my bed after “breakfast,” which for me–despite the endless buffet–is no more than coffee and a bowl of yoghurt. I stay horizontal most of the day, praying for […]

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Five Days in Beantown — Day 5

The Statue of Paul Revere with the Old North Church behindThe AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) is over, so today I’m going to be a tourist. I’m going to be an American expat exploring my country’s history. I’m going to wander back to the first hours of my country’s life when Paul Revere […]

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Five Days of Hiking on Mallorca in February — Day 5

Playa de Mellorca in winterIt’s our last day on Mallorca and we’re feeling nostalgic. Herbert the Venezuelan Pearl Diving Instructor is lying on the bed, flipping through pictures of the hikes. “Remember the rocks?” he says. “And the rocks?”Despite the fact that it’s Herbie’s job to choose the route, he hasn’t even unfolded his bed-sized […]

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Five Days of Hiking on Mallorca in February — Day 4

This must be the dreaded Caca.”Shine bright like a diamond,” I sing with Rihanna. We sound remarkably alike. “Shine bright like a diamond.”“Shine bite like a dead man,” Herbert the Venezuelan Pearl Diving Instructor sings along, too late and sounding nothing like Rihanna. We are on our way to our fourth hike, somewhere in the […]

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Five Days of Hiking on Mallorca in February — Day 3

One disadvantage of letting someone else organize everything is that I often wind up walking along dangerous roads, scouring the shoulder for the infamous “inconspicuous entrance to the trail”–which seems to be a theme here on Mallorca. “This is the sort of place one would dump a body,” I say as I pull myself up […]

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Lessons From a Wise Sky. How to Behave Poorly on a Plane: a Primer

Anyone can behave considerately on a plane, but it takes real talent and a will of steel to make an ass of oneself in such a controled environment. If you follow these simple guidelines, however, you’ll have no problem–but you’ll certainly cause a few. 1. Piss-poor comportment on a plane begins even before the plane […]

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